His True Home: Cole and Byron
His True Home
Cole and Byron
M. J. Giani
His True Home
Copyright © 2017 by M. J. Giani.
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations em- bodied in critical articles or reviews.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organiza- tions, places, events and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
For information contact :
(Address, website)
http://www.website.com
Book and Cover design by M. J. Giani in Canvas
ISBN: 123456789
First Edition : June 2017
1
CONTENTS
His True Home
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
About M J Giani
Acknowledgments
1
From the second floor of his family’s holiday house, Cole De Vere could see the stables where his father's race horses were. Although he loved horses – especially Silver, his pure breed – at that moment, he wasn’t looking for animals, but for the keeper his father had hired to care of them.
Mike was tall and muscular, and had a caramel-colored skin that betrayed his Mexican origins. At fifteen, Cole already knew that looking at boys wasn’t normal, but lusting for a man who was twice his age, and his young body reacting to him the way it did was a sign of something he feared it was true: he was gay, and he was in love with his father's employee. How could he, Cole De Vere,tell such a thing to his family? Better yet, how could he tell hisfather? How would theHonorable Judge Sir Walter De Vere, a descendant of a distinguished Scottish family who had moved to the United States, and had become one of the Presdient’s closest friends, react when he learnt that his youngest son was gay? He didn’t even want to imagine.
Suddenly Mike looked up and caught him staring – as, in fact, he had, for some time now – and smiled, which was enough to get Cole out of his trance and run away quickly from his hiding spot, in embarrassment. Afraid that someone might come looking for him and finding out what he was doing, he decided to go downstairs immediately.
The whole family was assembled in the great room, surrounded by his father’s many friends, and they were about to take a picture. No matter how much the illustrious Sir Walter would prefer celebrating the Independence Day in the White House, he couldn’t. He had always boasted of being a family man, and leaving them on such an important occasion to spend the day with politicians wouldn’t do well for his reputation. Therefore, the whole De Vere family had gone to the family ranch to spend the Fourth of July to show the President that even though they were from Scotland, they were proud to be in America. Cole thought this made his father look like he was an adulator, but no one ever asked for his opinion.
His two brothers were standing next to his father, two perfect copies of him: great men with toned, thin bodies and pitch-black hair. Cole, on the other hand, was tall and thin, and his pale blond hair was so curly that it resisted every attempt of taming. He looked more like his mother's side of the family– or at least, that was what he thought. He had never known her – his father had abandoned his mother to marry a rich heiress called Olivia – but he had seen her in old fashion magazines from the times she was a renowned world-wide mannequin. Kerstin – his mother – was tall and slender, and her hair was so blond it was almost white, due to her Swedish ancestry. At the moment, she was married to a wealthy Greek magnate, and although she was fifty-five, she still kept the beauty and grace of her youth. Cole doubted her husband knew she had a child at all, since she decided to drop her "mistake from her youth" at her ex-boyfriend’s door, and every attempt of contact on Cole’s part were met withsilence. Message received: she didn’t want to know him at all. Overall, you could say that he had everything to be happy – except he didn’t.
As he watched his family – his father, his stepmother, and his older siblings, Robert, John, Kate and Anna –he felt doubtful about whether he should join them or not. His father, as if guessing his thoughts, looked at him coldly, as if saying: "Don’t come here!" Cole stopped midway and froze in his place, understanding the message. He should have been used to it by now. After all, his father was very cold to him, and if he didn’t have daily proof that his father was able to advise and listen to people, he wouldn’t have cared. However, the problem was that when it came to John or Rob, he was firm as well, but he listened to them and gave them advice. Cole saw that his father liked his stepmother too, in his own way, because he listened to her and he could even be affectionate, at times – that is, as long as she stayed in her place. He was the problem. His father didn’t like him, and he didn’t want to go as far as saying that he didn’t love him, but it was close. He had tried talking to his stepmother about this, but she always said it was all in his head, that it was his imagination playing tricks on him, but Cole was not stupid. Either his stepmother was oblivious to that, or she pretended to be.
Discouraged by seeing the “perfect family” together, he left and headed for the stables. He knew he was playing with fire, but he needed to distract himself. The cold air hit his face, but he didn’t go back to get acoat. He didn’t want them to see him, or worse, to have him stay and watch the “perfect family”, that wouldn’t even notice that there was a member missing in the picture – him. When he reached the door of the stables, he heard his horse neighing, feeling his presence, and Mike's humming. Cole got in, cowering in a corner, and he looked at Mike. His large and strong body was standing in front of him, with his back turned to the entrance. Cole stayed there for a few minutes, watching him. He was a child, but the desire he felt wasn’t. He finally approached him, and sounding more confident than he really felt, he said: “My horse likes your music.” Mike jumped to the sound of his voice and turned around.
“You scared me! What are you doing here, instead of being with your family celebrating?”
"I was going to ask you the same thing. Why are you working on a holiday,instead of being with your family? Do you like working so much that you like to spend your holidays here?” Cole asked him. In his mind, he wanted Mike to say that it was for him that he was there, which would be ridiculous – Cole didn’t even know if he was married, let alone homosexual. He thought that Mike wouldn’t be interested in a fifteen-year-old child, the boss's son, one of the country's most respected judges. However, Cole felt so alone all the time that he had made up a story in his head in which he would declare his love and Mike would love him back, but he would wait until he was eighteen. A psychologist would certainly make a fortune with his ideas and fantasies! However, he didn’t need one to know that his problem was lack of parental love and that he was shifting those feelings to an older man, but he doubted that a psychologist, however good he or she might be, would ever cure him of being gay.
“I am going to my sister’s family house now, but I forgot my wallet with the documents here. I saw that Silver was a little restless, and I wasjust calming him down before I went.” Mike informed him.
“Oh, yeah, you can’t travel without documents.” Cole babbled,without really knowing what to say. "You must think I'm a fool for peeking out the window, don’t you?"
“Why do you think that?” Mike asked as he
approached him. "On the contrary, I think it's beautiful." The older man smiled, showing his crooked teeth, but Cole was so stuck in his fantasy that he didn’t notice anything. But when Mike got really close to him, he didn’t know how to react, and he started feeling a bit afraid. What a fool he was, playing a man with serious things, like love.
“I hope you have a good trip, you and... your wife." He wanted to know if he was married, but he couldn’t dare being so straightforward.
"I'm going alone." Mike took another step closer, being so close that a hand now couldn’t come through between them.
"Ah." Cole was speechless, his heart beating so fast he couldn’t hear the sound of the horses. Mike's manly scent was so intense that not even the scent of the stables bothered him. Mike leaned over and kissed him. Cole felt butterflies in his belly and he was really nervous and quiet, and if he noticed it was his first kiss, he didn’t say anything. He pushed him, and Cole found himself with his back against the wooden wall. One of Mike’s hands was in his zipper and he was trying to open it. Fear started replacing the desire Cole had just felt a few moments ago, it was too muchand he didn’t feel prepared for it. He tried pushing him away, but Mike was so strong that he didn’t budge.
“Stop it!” Cole asked “You're hurting me!”
"Do you think you can harass me like you do, following me with doggy eyes all day and ask me to stop right now?" He pointed to his own crotch. "I don’t think so.”
"Please, no... I didn’t want to...Let me go!" Cole begged, but Mike, who was calm at first, was getting angrier now, and suddenly, in a fit of rage, he hit Cole in the face. A drop of blood fell down his chin, a proof of the brutality of the older man.
" You are all the same? Do you think that just because you are rich, you can make fun of your employees?” Mike asked angrily. “You’ll see!” He promised. And with those words, he tore Cole's shirt and began biting his neck. My God, how had his beautiful and pure fantasies turned into such an ugly thing!
Cole tried pushing him away with all his might, but Mike’s hard hands held him tight. In a last attempt of escaping, Cole tried to scream, but Mike covered his mouth, making his screaming sound more like a groan. Cole’s fear was making him want to pee and it looked like he was going to do it for real. When he thought he had no way to escape, Mike let him go, and Cole stood there helplessly, feeling the urine falling down his legs and staining his pants.
***
Cole’s ears finally stopped ringing, and he could hear Mike's voice –and his father's. Walter had noticed that the doors of the stables were open, and he went there to see what was wrong, when he came upon a sex scene between his son and one of his servants. As upset as he was, he thought the little boy was being raped at first, but the groan he heard coming out of his mouth and his wet trousers told another story. He always knew Cole would cause him trouble, and his employee's explanations were bringing him closer and closer to losing his temper.
“It was him who came tome and tempted me at every opportunity! I'm not gay, you know, I have a wife, but he spent these days following mearound...” Mike trailed off. Married? Oh, my God! How could he have been so wrong as to put himself in such a situation? If Mike was married, why hadhe...Done that?
"Is that true, kid?" The Judge's voice sounded like thunder in the division and the sound of rain falling outside.
"Well...Actually...Yes, I... But-" The horror of the situation made him stutter. Cole wanted to explain that yes, he had followed him, but he would never agree to such a monstrosity, he was being forced. If it hadn’t been for his father's arrival, he didn’t know what might have happened. Just thinking about it made him cry.
“I should’ve known.” the Judgesaid”You're really worthless, and now, you’re gay as well?! Do you think that I, a close friend of the President, will have a gay son?”
"Maybe I should-" Mike began, but he was interrupted by his boss.
"Pack your things and don’t come back here ever again." Judge said.
"But I didn’t do anything, it was all this bastard's fault!"
“Indeeed, Mike. But this sissie is fifteen, and he’s still a child. If I ever see you again, I'll file a complaint.” It was an empty threat, for he didn’t want scandals associated with his good name, which he prized above everything else, but of course, this guy didn’t need to know that.
"You'll regret it, you'll see!" Mike threatened as he walked out, stumbling as he left, leaving them alone.
"So you're gay now, too? I should have drowned you like they do with those cats that nobody wants.” Cole was shocked to hear his father speaking so openly about his feelings about him. It had always been more of an impression than a certainty, until this day: hatred was on his father’s face for everybody to see. His father hated him, and it was not just a matter of whether he liked him or not anymore.
"Father, I-" His cry made his voice sound terrible, but he had to try to repair any damage that the scene his father witnessed had created. After all, he was a victim, it hadn’t been consensual. Perhaps if his father knew the truth, they could go back to what they had, or maybe even improve their relationship, knowing that their son could also be wounded make him soften.
"Father, please, he tried to rape me, I didn’t mean to-" A piercing stare interrupted his words.
"So, besides being a pussy, you’re also a coward?" He said contemptuously. "Now that Mike's gone, you want to blame him, when you’ve just admitted that you seduced him. You disgust me.”
"No, father, I-" He couldn’t finish the sentence, and his father turned away.
"Go to your room. I'll see what I’lldo with you. I can’t even look at you anymore.” He said, not even bothering to turn around.Preparing to return to the big house, Cole wore his shirt as best he could, and started running toward the house. However, before he left, he heard his father's last warning.
"Don’t tell anyone what happened here.”
Cole entered the kitchen like he usually did, and stopped when he saw Mrs. Eva, the cook who had been working for the family for more than twenty years.
"God, what happened to you?” She asked in panic. She liked that child as his own, and she didn’t like the way he was treated by his family. Her affectionate tone was enough to let him rest in the arms of the only person in the world who comforted him when he was young and he hurt himself. In his arms, he told her everything, leaving nothing out, and with maternal support, she listened. How was it possible that this woman who had no children was more motherly than his own stepmother, who had raised him from an early age? After kissing him on the cheek, Ms. Eva helped him preparing the bath, putting on his pajamas, and when he was finally lying in bed she sang the song she used to sing to him when he was a little boy, until he fell asleep.
Luckily, he didn’t dream about anything, good or bad.
2
Cole's life was never the same again. Shortly after the "incident," as he and his father called it, Walter sent him to a second-chance camp – camps that helped young people who "thought" they were homosexuals finding a cure. For their fathers, such a thing didn’t exist, it was a personality disorder, a mistake to be corrected.
After spending two months in this center, without his family coming to visit him, his personality changed drastically, more than Father Hawking's attempts ever did. In the beginning, he stopped talking about his problems, but each time he refused to cooperate, his stay in that prison increased. Then, he began responding to what others wanted to hear: he always had a beautiful smile on, and he smiled a lot. No one seemed to notice that his eyes remained cold every time he did.
When he returned home, everyone reacted as if he had gone on vacation, except for Mrs. Eva, who was distressed. This struck him harder than the contempt of his father and brothers. He didn’t know why, but he wasn’t a part of that family. He was an intruder.
Three years later
Cole was on his way home to spend the holidays with the De Veres, when his car stopped in the middle of the road
.
"Oh no, what a mess!” He groaned in despair” Come on, just a little bit further, we’re almost there!” He was already nervous as it was:he hadn’t seen his family for almost a year and a half – since his last vacation – and now this!
When he returned from the Spiritual Rehabilitation Center he had a conversation with his father, and they made a deal: Sir De Vere paid for his college and he wouldn’t bring shame to his family with his illness.
The sacrifices you have to make!
He would also have to come home once a year to spend his holidayswith his family. Everyone around them had to see the family happy and complete, though when they were in private, the story was completely different. Olivia was submissive, and she never contradicted her husband in public or in private, but she always made a point of showing her contempt towards him. His brothers were worse, because they didn’t even bother to hide their disgust, often mocking him in front of his college friends, making Cole feel bad, as those were the same guys that kept insulting him whenever they saw him on campus. Cole spent his time in college with other nerds like him, and if he could help his brother and his cronies during class, he was happy. However,he couldn’t imagine what it would be like if his younger brother, John, got into Harvard as well. It would be like a bad family reunion.
He had decided to ignore the family’s tradition of going to Law School, and went to Medical School instead, where he could be the best at something, and above all, he didn’t have to do it the “De Vere way”, where he would be in everybody else’s shadow. He was at Harvard for nearly two years, and the fact that he had a high IQ, and being in college with colleagues, who were much older than him, didn’t impress anyone. He wanted to be a star during at least, a part of his existence, and the idea ofsaving the lives of people who would need him, was fabulous, especially if he could become a good doctor and a good surgeon.